10 tips on How to focus on yourself.

No, I’m not talking about hunting for someone who looks like you.

Finding your self requires more hard work than searching for one who resembles you.

But it’s also important because only once you know how can you be happy will you be able to focus on yourself.

The more “me” you know, the more you’ll understand the world.

The more you learn the processes of living.

The more you’ll feel free and start to reflect on you.

The more you’ll be able to care for yourself.

There are innumerable ways that you can try in finding your self, and a quick way we can do together is by signing up for my self care coaching program.

But before that let’s look into how to focus on yourself because that’s one way of taking care of yourself that is sure to go a long way.

Why is it so hard to focus on yourself?🤔

You might be thinking that when all you have to do is look after yourself then how could it be a difficult task to focus on yourself?

But there are a lot of disturbances popping up to stop you from devoting yourself completely.

If you want to read more on it, I found an interesting article by HBR, where they mention, “Since we spend 46.9% of our days with our minds wandering away from a task at hand, we crave the ability to keep it fixed and on task.”

Some of the factors could be:

🫠 Over-commitment: Picking up something is fine but prioritizing it over everything else could be risky. Committing to your work, family, social obligations, etc, more than required can create distance from yourself as you find less time for self care or introspection of your living culture.

😵 Lack of Boundaries: When you don’t set a clear demarcation for people to understand, they start messing with your personal space, without leading to a continuous cycle of prioritizing others at the expense of self-focus. There is a concept called window of tolerance that help you in understanding how to set boundaries and when should you do it. You can read it here: How to define your window of tolerance to everything.

🥴 Social Media and other digital mediums: I believe that social media accounts are there to help you build your personal brand. When used more than that, it is definitely going to disturb your cycle of finding yourself.

How to pay more attention to you

How many times have we spent thinking on what the other person meant, how do I make them see my perspective, how to I make them believe my point of view, and so much more.

How many times have you thought about the same questions on you?

How to make yourself see different perspectives or believe that a lot of povs exist?

We spend a lot of time thinking about other people and forget about ourselves.

Here’s how to focus on yourself:

Know When to Say Yes or No

Count the ‘worth’ amount of any task that you have to say a yes or a no to.

For eg, if I have to attend a meeting which, as per me, stands at 50, and there’s one friend in need whose need, as per me, stands at 70. I would pick helping that friend. But let’s say she calls up to meet randomly or go partying, the score would go down to 20 for me, and I would pick up the meeting first.

Worth count always helps in making the right decision of whether to say a yes or a no, helping you to focus on yourself better.

Think about what you feel for that person.

I’ve always wanted my feelings to be good for everyone as long as I am able to be fine with it.

Like I love to greet people with a smile but I do not want that smile to be a fake one.

The best way I figured out is to balance both of it – smile while keeping my mood bright – and this I do by only noticing good in people.

I never let my feeling for any person or anything bring me down, instead, I’ve automated my mind to only look for good in everything.

If they get angry but are also caring to people around them, then I focus on their caring attitude while not touching their anger issues. This way they never bring out that aspect to me, while I help them water their caring side more.

This way I feel good no matter what I see or face. And instead of thinking of them you will be able to focus on yourself.

You must also think about your feelings while you mingle with other desires that exist in this world.

Never compare yourself to anyone, like never. Like neverrrrrrrrrr.

Always remember, you might find EFGH good in someone but that might not satisfy the points of 2345 in your experience that you are facing.

So what they have is good for their life and helps them in shaping their outcomes.

But what you’ve got is enough to shape yours.

So just keep getting better.

Compare with yourself, where you were and where you want to reach.

Everyone is different, just like how every plant, river, land are all unique.

Focus on yourself and what makes you special, not what others are doing.

Take enough breaks to relax.

Like your phone needs time to charge to get back to smooth functioning, you should give time for yourself to get refreshed, rejuvenate, and relax.

A five-minute bath before sleep, a 2 min meditation in between your day grind, and a 15-minute nap after lunch, all are very small breaks that bring you a bigger outcome.

Find ways to relax, like taking a few deep breaths or doing things you enjoy.

This helps you pay attention to what you need.

Be clear of what all things are Important to You.

I follow the Eisenhower matrix to decide the importance of things that should be important to me.

I think about the things that make me happy or the goals I want to achieve.

Exercising every morning is important. Like very important to me, so on my worth scoreboard, it stands at 98, now if one day someone in your family needs time, then that score is 110 for me and I would pick spending time with my beloved. But if skipping exercise is simply because I don’t wish to get up then that’s like choosing 20 over 98.

I determine with the help of my worth score, all the things that are important to me, and then I focus on those things.

Do Things You Like as often as you can.

When I was young and people asked me about my hobby, I would be clueless.

I never liked anything that I could say as a hobby.

So I sat to decide what are the things I might like.

I tried dancing, drawing, swimming, and a whole bunch of activities but I finally could understand that in all of it, reading and writing is something that I find my flow in.

It took me a lot of months to create that flow, but somehow I could finally get along with something that I like.

And this has helped me in clearing out my mind.

It has become my go to option whenever I do not feel like doing.

The idea is to look for things that helps you in getting into that flow away from the other worldly existencial crisis. It’s important to just focus on yourself.

Talk to Someone if You Need Help.

There have been times when I felt I wanted to talk to someone who could guide me out of the confusion.

Or sometimes just someone who could let me know how to get along if I want to improve myself.

Because let’s accept it when it’s necessary we somehow do it, but it’s the luxury that requires a kick and has the power to upraise the standard of loving.

So devote some time to analyzing you. You can try out my self care coaching program and see for how focusing on yourself helps.

Celebrate. Not just what you think is a success, but every small ones that gives you the feeling of accomplishment.

When you do something well, even if it’s small, give yourself a high-five!

When you feel happy in the small things you achieve, it motivates you from inside to do better for all those big accomplishments.

It makes you feel good and reminds you that you’re doing great. This leads you to put yourself on your important list.

Be Thankful for life, people, body, breath, YOU!

What you plan will be always more than what you do.

There is always a gap that exists between what you want and what you have.

But the right balance is to push yourself towards what you want but also stay thankful for what you have.

It could be anything, your house, food, family, friends, health, wealth, or even a sane mind.

Focus on yourself, on the good things in your life. Being grateful helps you feel happy about what you have.

Take Things Step by Step.

If these are 10 things we discussed today and you find 5 of them apt and useful, take them step by step.

Let’s say if you start with being grateful, don’t mess it up by also learning how to calculate the worth count.

Train yourself to be thankful all the time, then you can align it with how to see good in everything around you.

That can help you in saying a no when you should be saying it.

And this can again be aligned with setting your boundaries.

Changing how you think takes time.

Don’t rush it. Take little steps every day to focus on yourself more and be kind to yourself along the way.

Remember, just like you care for others, it’s important to care for yourself too.

You’re just as important!

Invest more in you. The world will also invest in you.

If you think you’re stuck somewhere, need a solution, find a way, reach out. Talk to your family, friends, and colleagues. Anyone you trust.

And if you’re like me who finds it uncomfortable to open up to people who know you already, I can be your divine buddy with whom you can clear your mindset and unlock your best self smoothly.