As per the Urban Dictionary, self love means “to unconditionally spoil, value yourself and accept your self-worth. Putting yourself first so you can grow externally and internally for YOU. It’s a value that shows and symbolizes how much you appreciate and accept who you are and not who you’re told to be.”
In short,
how you try to love the world, self love is doing the same for you.
Talking good about you, believing in positive things for you, reflect and analyze on what’s working for you.
It could be in the form of practicing self care and taking care of you in all aspects possible or simply working on your inner core to build yourself better.
Let’s understand how to love ourselves in more than 20+ ways and why should you also implement it.
Why is Self Love important?
As per New York Times, “People who score high on tests of self-compassion have less depression and anxiety, and tend to be happier and more optimistic.”
Loving yourself makes you feel more complete in everything.
You start to gain acceptance for what’s happening in life.
Things around you seem in control.
Bonds with people around you develops better.
As Jeffrey Borenstein, President of the Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, puts it: “Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others.”
20+ Ways to Practice self love: A Detailed Guide
There are innumerable ways of loving yourself and the specific ways are decided on the basis of your personal behaviour and what you require as a person overall. The key is to develop a habit that brings you the feeling of kindness, compassion, and respect for you and your emotions. Here are easy 20 ways that you can try to build a habit of self care and start loving yourself.
Prioritize your needs
Understand what is your preference or what you need in life the most! You can make a list of what you need. It can be physically, emotionally, or mentally. The key is to end up feeling your best.
How to implement it?
- Start your day by listing three non-negotiable things you need to do for yourself.
- Use a planner or app to schedule time for activities that fulfill your needs.
- Communicate your needs clearly to others to ensure they respect your time and boundaries.
Create a Self-Care Routine
A self-care routine helps you regularly focus on activities that promote your well-being. They bring you improvements that is not possible any other way.
Implementation Tips:
- Identify activities that relax and rejuvenate you, such as reading, taking baths, or meditating.
- Dedicate specific times each day or week for these activities.
- Make your self-care routine a priority, not something to fit in if you have time.
For more details you can read on how to create a personalized self care plan.
Practice Gratitude
Gratitude shifts your focus from what you lack to what you have, giving you a positive mindset towards life.
Implementation Tips:
- Keep a gratitude journal and write down three things you’re grateful for each day.
- Express your gratitude to others through notes, messages, or verbal appreciation.
- Reflect on positive experiences before bed to end the day on a high note.
Eat Nutritious Foods
Good food is the key to a healthy body because then your cells and organs absorb important nutrients and gives you a better lifestyle.
Implementation Tips:
- Plan and prepare balanced meals with a variety of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains.
- Listen to your body’s hunger and fullness cues.
- Allow yourself to enjoy treats in moderation without guilt.
Spend Time in Nature
Nature has a calming effect and helps reduce stress. So spending time in nature will purify your body from inside and make you feel like its your first day of living a life.
Implementation Tips:
- Go for regular walks in a park or forest.
- Plan outdoor activities like picnics, hikes, or gardening.
- Practice mindfulness while in nature, focusing on the sights, sounds, and smells around you.
Meditate Regularly
Meditation helps you connect with your inner self and reduce stress. Here are 10 tips to focus on yourself.
Implementation Tips:
- Start with short, guided meditations if you’re new to the practice.
- Set a regular time each day for meditation, such as first thing in the morning or before bed.
- Create a calm, quiet space in your home for meditation.
Cultivate Positive Relationships
It is impossible to survive in this world alone happily. When you have people around they add to your perspectives, insights, and learnings, making you live better experiences.
Implementation Tips:
- Evaluate your relationships and distance yourself from toxic or draining individuals.
- Invest time in nurturing relationships that are positive and supportive.
- Communicate openly and honestly with your loved ones.
Learn to Say No
When you keep saying yes for everything, there will be a lot of problem in handling your work. Because at the end, your time is limited and work infinite which reduces your self love time. So learn how to say no and not just to people but also to yourself when you feel like deviating from your schedule.
Implementation Tips:
- Practice saying no to small requests to build your confidence.
- Be clear and firm when setting boundaries.
- Remind yourself that it’s okay to prioritize your well-being over others’ demands.
Limit Social Media Use
If you are using too much of social media consumption it can increase stress and comparison. So it is important to limit your use and that feed self love with good things from social media content.
Implementation Tips:
- Set specific times for checking social media rather than mindlessly scrolling.
- Unfollow or mute accounts that make you feel negative about yourself.
- Replace social media time with activities that nurture you, like reading or spending time with loved ones.
Here are 10 good digital habits that you can try
Exercise Regularly
Physical exercise is one of the most significant way to talk to your physical body. When muscles and body stretches, it boosts your mood and energy levels.
Implementation Tips:
- Choose exercises you enjoy, whether it’s yoga, running, dancing, or hiking.
- Set realistic fitness goals and track your progress.
- Mix up your routine to keep it interesting and engaging.
Affirmations and Positive Self-Talk
When you think good about you and your life, you attract the things you speak of. Hence talking positively to yourself and affirming good things about you helps in boosting your self esteem too.
Implementation Tips:
- Write down affirmations that resonate with you and place them where you’ll see them daily.
- Repeat your affirmations out loud each morning to set a positive tone for the day.
- Counter negative thoughts with positive ones immediately.
Seek Professional Help When Needed
There’s no shame in seeking help from professionals to find the better version of yourself. I have conducted more than 50 sessions and each of them saved their time by sharing their troubles, issues, and even the solutions.
Implementation Tips:
- Look for a self care coaching program. We can discuss your goals and vision to understand the direction of life.
- Schedule regular sessions and let’s be a proactive part of your self-care.
- Be open and honest about your feelings and experiences to bring out your truest form.
Practice Forgiveness
If you hold grudges of something, it’s the added weight that you are carrying. If you leave it completely, it will make you feel light and the person you forgive will also feel better. Forgiving yourself and others can even release negative emotions and foster peace.
Implementation Tips:
- Reflect on past hurts and acknowledge your feelings.
- Write letters of forgiveness to yourself or others (you don’t have to send them).
- Practice letting go of grudges and focusing on the present.
Declutter Your Space
Cleaning is a therapy. I repeat – organizing, sorting, and keeping things in place help you feel powerful and clear in your life. They improve your overall mood and productivity.
Implementation Tips:
- Tackle one area at a time to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
- Donate or dispose of items that no longer serve you.
- Maintain your space by regularly tidying up and organizing.
Volunteer or Help Others
When you help others, there is a feeling of gratefulness you receive in knowing that you are capable of adding to someone’s happiness. It can boost your mood and provide a sense of purpose to your living.
Implementation Tips:
- Find volunteer opportunities that align with your interests and values.
- Offer your skills and time to help friends, family, or your community.
- Reflect on the positive impact your actions have on others.
Set Realistic Goals
The goals that you set is your mini-goal to accomplish. And if you fail, it is going to take a toll on your self belief. So understand what works for you and set a target that you know is in your capability to achieve.
Implementation Tips:
- Break your goals into smaller, manageable steps.
- Celebrate your progress and accomplishments, no matter how small.
- Adjust your goals as needed to stay aligned with your values and interests.
Treat Yourself
When you spend time with yourself, you realise how important you are in your life. Pamper your skin, your mind, your thought patterns. You will eventually start feeling the difference.
Implementation Tips:
- Identify treats that truly bring you joy, such as a favorite snack, a spa day, or a new book.
- Schedule regular times to indulge in these treats without guilt.
- Remember that treating yourself doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant.
Journaling
Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a powerful tool for self-reflection and growth. When you note things, you tend to talk to yourself about how you have been and what all needs to be worked upon.
Implementation Tips:
- Set aside time each day or week for journaling.
- Use prompts to guide your writing if you’re unsure where to start.
- Reflect on your entries to gain insights into your emotions and behaviors.
Embrace Your Imperfections
Accepting your flaws and imperfections is a key part of self-love. Not everyone is perfect in all life aspects. And trust me, you do not even have to be, because at the end, if you keep note of all good things happening in your life and how to proceed further, when will you even live your life?
Implementation Tips:
- Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself as you would to a friend.
- Focus on your strengths and achievements rather than your shortcomings.
- Remind yourself that everyone has flaws and that they don’t define your worth.
Get Enough Sleep
Timely sleep is a great way to keep your body at rest and rejuvenate for a better day. This will help you take care of yourself better.
Implementation Tips:
- Establish a consistent sleep schedule by going to bed and waking up at the same time each day.
- Create a relaxing bedtime routine, such as reading or taking a warm bath.
- Ensure your sleep environment is comfortable, dark, and cool.
Common Misconceptions about self love to avoid
If you think eating a lot, resting, enjoying your time, and netflix & chill, is self love then you need to rethink again. Even if it is said that loving yourself is making you feel your best at every point, there are various misconceptions that you must know to avoid falling in the trap of feeling that you love yourself when actually you are not.
Self Love must be practiced in isolation
While personal reflection is important, self-love also involves your interactions with others. It is not about how much time you spend alone with yourself but it also involves building healthy and supportive relationship with people around you. If you look at the pillars of self care, social self care is an integral part and helps in filling a person with a sense of calmness and security.
Self Love means being generous with yourself throughout
While treating yourself is a part of self-love, it’s not the essence of it. Self-love is about caring for your basic needs and nurturing your mental, physical, and emotional health. It’s about doing the hard work of self-improvement, which often involves setting boundaries, saying no, and making tough decisions. The idea is to organize your life in a way that you know when to treat yourself and when to exercise discipline.
Self Love involves having positive thoughts all the time
Self-love means acknowledging and accepting all of your emotions, even the negative ones. It’s about being honest with yourself and allowing yourself to feel a full range of emotions without judgment. Ignoring or suppressing negative emotions can lead to greater issues down the line. Instead of keeping yourself happy forcefully, loving yourself involves accepting negative emotions and dealing with it gracefully.
Self Love happens overnight
If you think you have started practicing it from today and it will continue, that is not the thing. Loving yourself is a journey where you have to keep living it with every step you take rather than waiting for the end where you start seeing the difference. It involves unlearning negative beliefs and habits while cultivating new, healthier ones. This takes time, patience, and consistent effort.